Sensei Russell FACTS:
1) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Sensei Russell.
2) When Sensei Russell does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
3) Sensei Russell is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Sensei Steve FACTS:
1) Sensei Steve doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
2) Sensei Steve grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
3) There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Sensei Steve has allowed to live.

Rob Jones FACTS:
1)The chief export of Rob Jones is Pain.
2) A Rob Jones-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in most countries.
3) When Rob Jones falls in water, Rob Jones doesn't get wet. Water gets Rob Jones.

Justina Kauklyte FACTS:
1) Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Justina Kauklyte roundhouse kick.
2) Justina Kauklyte is currently suing Channel 4, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
3)Justina Kauklyte is so hard she ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Dave Squire FACTS:
1) The show "Help, I'm a celebrity" had the original premise of putting people on an island with Dave Squire. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
2) There are weapons of mass destruction in St. Austell, Dave Squire lives there.
3) Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Dave Squire pyjamas.

Allan Walmsley FACTS:
1) A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Allan Walmsley, 3. Cancer
2) Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Allan Walmsley jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
3) Allan Walmsley does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Daniel Becker FACTS:
1) Daniel Becker can slam a revolving door.
2) When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Daniel Becker.
3) Daniel Becker let the dogs out.

James Walmsley FACTS:
1) Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with James Walmsley.
2) James Walmsley doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut James Walmsley is James Walmsley.
3) James Walmsley makes onions CRY!!!

Jasmine FACTS:
1) Jasmine does not own a house. She walks into random houses and people move.
2) Jasmine uses a night light. Not because Jasmine is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Jasmine.

Luke Doyle FACTS:
1) It is said that looking into Lukes eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
2) 182,000 Britons die from Luke Doyle-related accidents every year.
3) Jesus can walk on water, but Luke Doyle can walk on Jesus.

Kadie FACTS:
1) Kadie was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
2) In the medical community, death is referred to as "Kadie Disease"
3) If you work in an office with Kadie, don't ask her for her three-hole-punch.

Tim Wherry FACTS:
1) Tim Wherry can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken.
2) In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Tim was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Matt Saunders FACTS:
1) Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Matt Saunders fight.
2) He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Matt Saunders … dies.

Neil Rowe FACTS:
1) When Neil Rowe was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Neil Rowe.
2) Neil Rowe doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
3) Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Neil Rowisaurus.